antipathia :(

dis pic is copied from deyna's fs

aishh....
book: dude... open me up, n read plus memorize all those words are written in it! or in other words..... sTuDy!
brain: hey, hold on. i need a rest!
me: wut???? ok, rest for a while then.... (tho, i'm bloggin herre)
me: gosh, d exams.... i hate it, but gotta get thru it.... latin, bio, physics, chemistry.... who invented d exam eh?
nyehsssss, i do hav to study.... tired coz id finished preparing physics answers scheme lah... summore dis monday: latin test n im waiting my russian results from Ekaterina, i do want avtomat so no need to go to class n no finale test on russian for dis sem.... staying up late at nite, yes, always did dat untill theres dark circles around my eyes n i looked like racoon early in d morning! wut to do....
laptop: shut me down!!!!! StUdy!!!

depressio......

lie, its a verb and it means tell a lie or lies...... lotsa things happen to me lately like Mrs Tak couldnt except and she felt dat my mistakes in my biology answers were BIG and as a punishment i got satisfactory mark for dat...... damn im totally pissed off and im almost cried for dat.... ryte now, im bustin my ass to complete d physics skema for my groupmates.... me n azryna doin d physics while bin bin doin chemistry n bio wif d others.... i wish i could go back home now.... talkin bout lie, white lie n all kinda lies... im thinkin how come dat kind of people can live with lying to d other people....id been lied for all dis tyme.... i juz want dat person tell me d truth... i knoe, its embarassing but plz tell me d truth!!!!!!!! i would reconsider bout wut u did....it seems like, we couldnt be d same like d old days n i think i couldnt trust u......u knoe wut while u were talkin to me, i felt sad n dejected for wut u had done to us.... for all dis tyme, i really... really trust u.... thank god, i didnt tell u my darkest secret yet, but i hate to keep on doin d same mistake in my life: trusting d wrong people! it hurts when i knoe d truth from sumone else who is closed to us.... but why???? i tot dat i wouldnt meet liars anymore, huhuhuhuh.........

as d matter of fact, when i see ur face, oh my.... ( how could i didnt noticed dat before dat u are d one, yes u are d only one dat couldnt be and shouldnt be trusted)... i shouldnt take forgranted wut d others had told me before dis.... dun trust sumone easily......

i hate being lied!!!!!

~d end~

to my lil bro, An

gimme sum idea on how to stimulate my younger bro's brain to study??? is an I-Pod enough to stimulate him or wut should i say???? dude, study lah.... exams are way soooo important to u ok... dun make abah n mama sad ok! make them proud of u.... i knoe u r smart, yes u are.... tapi ur big problem is u r so or not so pemalas! heh, wut d heck.... ok la, PMR not dat big exam but still penting in ur lyfe, its like takin a BIG step in ur lyfe.... tho, i now ur school tue gettin improved n many of my fwens from dat school scored in PMR n SPM. Nonetheless, do ur verrry best. i knoe u can do it. go to school, budget ur tyme: more studying other than playing. plus, while studyin switch off ur phone n throw it away from u ( dats d best, hp is d devil, i knoe u keep on texting or playin d games) summore close d door and concentrate! ( u tot i dunno wut u did in ur room huh? i knoe everything lah, while i was at home!) hurmmmm.... other than that, for maths: more exercises, geo: hafal d map n d position, science: understand n memorize all d details same as kh n agama, bm: read more n hafal d grammar, english: same as bm, history: hafal semua..... uhuhuhu, its kinda hard but as u grow older, u'll knoe dat there are no things dat u would get it easily, NO PAIN NO GAIN.... lastly, Strive For d Best ;)

recipe+cooking=yummy food!

here's a thought....
wut happen as if u r fighting wif sumone dat......
hurmmmm.....
dun wanna talk about it lah...
let it be like dat.... not dat important...
yeay, im sooo happy, mama i luv u sooooo much... thank u for d recipe......
today i buat 'begedil ayam' , sedap n it had been approved by my roomies n my grupmates..... ehehehe, kinda proud of myself.... ouh never mind... nanti, i kembang x abes.... well, today's fine... cook togetha wif azryna, bin bin, malini n dinesha, u guys, best kan makan togetha.... i think we shud do it again.... anytyme, seriously, im enjoyin it. bile la lg nak wat cam2 selain attend d class togetha... summore, early in d morning, baked roti pisang wif my roomies using d new bread maker.... d bread was super duper sedap!!!!! macam gardenia in malaysia..... makin bread for business? dalam perancangan, maybe next sem since everyone is busy wif exams... darn.... 4 papers for final n fly back to my home schweeet home.... cant wait to go back...
mizz u guysss load ;)

uhuhuhuh, dis is d pic without me during raya.... i knoe everyone was thinkin bout me durin raya tyme.... im doin juz fine herre, i'll be back dis june.... mmmmuahhxxxx,

wif luv n kisses,

filzah nur johar

im doin fine herre....

to aainaa kamilah.... weyh, if u r reading dis post u shud be flattered ok... im writin dis after i read ur comment in my old blogs in fs.... u knoe wut, bloggin is my 2nd obsession other than shopping la kannn.... i dunno y, i think it helps me to get through everything dat i'd been through herre.... tho, i knoe, we chat thru ym almost everyday since both of us r sooooo free... n thanks to u for keepin me updated for every single thing dat happened in mesia... epecially bout all of fwens... plus, my big sis, kak dayah, thank u for d pictures.. n im sorry if im disturbin u when u r workin in d office n i wanna ask u again: do i look older than u??? hmmm.... im wonder??? do i look dat old??? hurmmphh... maybe i look bit mature than u lah... so, dats y all ur fwens said im your older sis... still, ija x puas hati... y la??? eheheheh, thank u for all d advices for dat b**** thingy... ija da borak wif mama juz now n she said d same thing as in d text (i mean d msg).... gosh.... athirah, amy, shirin, ira, azyan n everyone else: thank u to u guys, oihhh... i mizz u guys lotss... cant wait to go back home..... to farah ruhana: babe, hopefully our plan berjaye to go to lgkw n melawat everyone else there....
as in livin in russia or to be precise in nizhny: it changed me a lot!!! especially my cookin skill, not dat bad, yet, still hav to improve it, sooo, by d tyme when im back to mesia, i can cook for my lil bro, who always membebel n memerli me coz i cant cook ( dats sooo last tyme ok, i can cook now, an) but my shopping habit cannot be change, ever! i really loooooveeee to shop :) my studies: ok, my grupmates: d best! tp i x paham mengapa ada orang berasa iri hati, sakit hati, tidak puas hati dengan kami??? (i should not type it here, tp nak jugak), its ok, asalkan kita bahagia sudah, biarkan mereka.... mulut org mmg x ble ditutup! biar mereka cakap sepuas hati, apabila tahu penat, tahulah mereka untuk diam! soooo, basically, im doin fine herre...

failure.....

very..... very.... very stressful week,

huhuhuhuh, cant believe dat i'd cried yesterday, yea la... can u imagine, u studied everything n sumhow by d tyme u nk amek d test, u r totally nervous plus d headache n d lecturer sitting beside u n waiting for d answers.... end of story, i hav to repeat!!!!!

arghhhhhh, im sooooo dengki dgn previous group, guys, u r god damn lucky ok! seriously senang nk lepas d test.... now, i cant stop blamin myself *sigh*

~~enuff is enuff, fine..... let it gooooo, u cant return back d tyme.... do harder (not try harder)next tyme n make sure u score..... juz let it goooo la fill oiiiii!!!!~~

tho, still feelin sad n i end up watchin friends bout 3 episodes n studyin anatomy n i'd found out dat, ramai yg x lepas from my class, next tyme we do our best, yea.....

gosh! i hate failing.........

we only hav an hour to live....

dang!!!!

thanx to inayak aka bushra.....

talkin to u while holdin my histo notes togetha wif kak amani, was such a relief to me...

soooo dis is inayak.... very talkative gurl, came from kenya... she said: " guys, we hav only an hour to live, live ur lyfe in a good way" in a very full of spirit. btw, shes 4th year, keep on advicin kak amani to search for people who can speak in french since she, kak anis, kak husna n abg anip are goin to france dis summer. summore she recommend us to go to sochi, dis place in russia without winter (im soooo surprised bout dat), for sure im goin there next summer after d anatomy n histology finals!!!! huhuhuhu.... i hav to study now.....

till then,

xoxoxox

mood swings

tehee.............
i should be studyin now but d internet has such an undescribable power, forcing me to keep on updating my blogs.
humrphhh..... oohhhh no, as i said in my previous post dat i wanted to stop bloggin for a while, sheessshhhhh, i cant make it n i cant help it! i must update my blogs... wooopsss, i accidentally closed my latin book juz now. hoih, lotsa things happen lately, talkin bout dun bother to know who's d person, if terbace, terase sendiri la yea... yeah, thanx to you, i'd reminisced everythin dat i'd done in d school dulu... feel kinda shitty la jugak kan, not dat bad la i did, still, i did sumthin bad juge.... dun judge a book by its cover..... dun expect everythin is fine, im not sayin dat being optimistic is good but sumtymes its kinda depressin... my mood totally swings today, blame d hormones, i hate peep callin me n tellin me dat d class is almost empty only 2 students n d lecturer (to Mrs Tak, im sorry dat im late) sooo hurry up! huhuhuh, i hate dat soooo after dis, i dun want to bring my hp to class, hp no more!!! sooo sorry to my groupmates, i lepas gerammm kat u guys. ok, i dun want to tell u guys all about d calls n all coz i dunno how to tell u guys about it n i end up to type it in dis post,
when im angry to sumone or depressed, i tend to shut myself up n when u asked me sumthing, i would answer like dis "hmmm". then, when u ask me wuts wrong? i would simply answer: i dunno wut to say! as a reminder, dun mess up wif me lah, when the tyme its wrong. u'll knoe when d tyme strikes out, u can read it from my face, seriously, i cant hide it and im not a good pretender.... one more thing, dun force me to do sumthing. i hate it!

-sumone who doesnt care enough-

as i think for a while about other people, people around me.....

sumthing dat is important yet it had been taken forgranted....

i knoe im writin dis in the middle of the night...

but, i wonder why does it happened...

maturity had become as an ignorance....

yes, it drives me crazy....

i shouldnt take it seriously nonetheless...

i'd been sick of it....

i'm tired to get through it again!!!

come on people.... grow up!

use your big, brilliant brain to think wut had you done to other people....

anyone dat you didnt care at all....

you blame them for everything.....

as you cannot see or maybe you simply closed your eyes or else you are totally blind...

yeah...

i knoe you think you have the remote control, switch us to be like these and that to suit you and to entertain you....

when you need help....

you give your sweeeetest smile dat no one has it.....

but, you didnt say thank you to people who helped you....

hey, where' s d manners???

dis is totally bull****,

dont blame me when it hit you back,

i juz want to seat here....

wait and see...

what will happened to you...

i couldnt be sure when it will happen....

but i knoe....

it will happen...

dont come back to us...

begging for forgiveness,

hopefully, you would stop and think about wut u had done before its too late,

till then, i'll always pray for us.

seCoNd day out

ehehehehe........ guess where i went out juz now :)
Pokrovskaya lah (one of my fav place to shop n sight seeing)
i went to shop grabbed few things dat i need.....
i tot nak carik kasut but x de yg berkenan lah...
i hate nike sbb kasut for men's punye cantekkk
for women's .... hoih susah gak nak cari yg btul2 suke...
adidas pulak, pelik la d designs...
huhuhu....
walk n walk until me, kak anis n kak amani tired n hungry...
ate pizza like we always do there....
sumhow at mng met anastasia my ex-lecturer for russian, few of my fwens...
sedey....
exam da nak dekattt...
buku x pegang2 lagi....
macam mane nie...
tomorrow cannot go out...
maybe i'll stop bloggin for a while.
latin, anat, histo n russian ~ coming kontrols
latin, biology, chemistry n physics ~ exams
soooooooooo scary, i cant imagine! :O

1st day out....

very tiring day....
i went to a museum>>>>> wic is a museum bout russian ketika zaman dahulu.....

dis d house

d people n they were singing at dat tyme tho i cant understand wut they were singing coz its toooo fast

syahir, syrunn, police( he's holdin a gun yg very old but i cant remember d age ah), me, malini, ms olga (our russian intensive lecturer) n sheriel

2 chinese girls in an old bus...... ohmigosh its sooooo spoky lah d bus

uhuhuhu.....sedeynyerrrr
toooo bad, got class ah today or else for sure i'll sleep n lazing around in my room or goin out n shoppin....
yesterday, i talked to my mom...
oih!!!! i missssssss my family....
yesss, thanx to kamil for askin me whether im homesick or not!
weh, hang ni mmg camtau jerr...
mmg la x menitik air mate nie bli tgk gamba yg my sis anta.....
tp sedey x ble nak balik!!!!
pegi latin class, lg menambah kesedihan, stupid me.....
asal x study!!!!
kan da x lepas.....
uhuhuhuu.....
sedih sangattttt....
mama, nak balik....
kak dayah thank u 4 d pics (pic of my cousins kahwennnn)....

sooooo nice....
i miss to seee adam n aqila ( 2 beradik yg chomel)

i miss d tyme at my uncle's house... d gatherin'.....d food.....

bout 1 n half months to go :(

i wanna go back home!!!

being single???

ok....
i dunno how to start...
but i did disscuss bout dis wif my fwens....
hehehehheeh
most of them r worried coz they r gettin older like 19, 20,21......
no one to be wif, wic means to hav boyfriend or gurlfren....
guys, being single is not pathetic, single doesnt mean u r lonely.....
or u rather to be wif sumone dats not worth to be wif u!
stop whining n chill out....
of course sumone will cum along....
when???
u cant predict it....
trust me, he or she will come....
to build a relationship wif sumone is not dat easy,
u hav to be tolerant,
u hav to understand between each other,
trust each other,
or else...........
when sumone asked me all these stuff,
i end up to say " u knoe wut, when i started to think bout it my head jadi serabot! n i think betta i let it be like dis n i enjoy to do everything dat i wanted to do! soooo chill ah!"
>>>>>> ouhhhhhh ok, im sooooo serabot now!

demam+pening=bengong me!

fever...... go away!!!!!!
i x nak dah..... penatttt lahhhh....
pening... panas, my eyes sakittt...
mama, dun worry bout me....
tgh recover nieh....
class x pegi...
tido n makan saje keje!
seriously, my head cam nak explode!!!!
huhuhu, wut kind of bomb in dis head?
y now???
most probably im sick coz of d weather,
yeah, kursk is cold
nizhny not dat cold> d sun shines sooooo bright!
panas, +21 camtue ( ehehehe, last temp i tgk kat board at sporta)
cepatlah, nak gi class...
x study lagi, histology.....
me end up wif watchin korean drama wif kak dilla n eatin ritter sports......
gosh, i dunno....
dis is d way to let d pain go away.....

back from kursk

oihh... lame x update>>> lyke 4 days camtue.....

hihihihi, goin to kursk!
lame sangattt... letihla....
i think naik flight 16 hours smpai kt mesia.....

nettball, kalah la....
tp mmg sengitt...
kinda psycho for d first match, gara-gara bas lambat n waitin for 2 guys yg tah hilang ke mana before bertolak gi tmpat yg sepatutnyer...

basketball,
hahhaha, soooo funny.....
we didnt practice ok!
n on dat day im havin a prob wif d players la ( not from my team)
gerammmm sangat dgn diorang...
thanx to kak ojieee berjaye shoot satu...
thank u to uya, for d knee guard or wutever they called dat thing, it helps...
kaki nieee kurang sakit mase main!
too bad, i did miss one la...
my eyes spero, n da penat...
our coaches, felt sorry for u guys toooo
kite same2 kalah....
x pe la, next year ade lagi...
togetha la practice nmpaknyer...
all teams mmg ganas, combine ngan nizhny, sume kate sopan!
kursk, beautiful city... nice!
too bad, x sempat nak jalan2 n dun hav mood to take pictures...

talkin bout pakcik drebar... hehehe
pakcik..... soooo berhemah, hoih!!!
slow la.... i knoe bus is big tp y? ikot turn 1, 2, 3...
i knoe i should be gratitude,
in d bus, chit chattin, watchin movies, eatin n sleep...
there's one tyme d nyte to kursk...
at one stop...
everyone wanted to ***...
nak dijadikan cerite, ade 1 toilet je!!!!
lg satu toilet tue bau sgt 'harum' so, x de sape sanggup masok,
d queue, soooo long...
n so cold, angin bertiup sepoi2 bahase....
d toilet x de lampu...
huhuhuhu

i met sum of my fwens not all,
kinda sedey x sempat nak borak2,
yea la, sume busy ngan game...
mizz u guyz loads!