~dis winter~

doinn gewd livin in winter dis year...
tho, wen got bak from aerofloat office wif kak dila, i fell down...
uhuhuh... landed on my hand... hurt lil bit...

amattttt sengal... n i knoe dat fella is goin to d same place like me dis winter hols...

owh God forbid... malasss giler mau bersemuka!!!!

my hand hurt, worry... hopefully wont get reallly hurt, counting d days for Malaysian Nyte....

yups, dis saturday..... later comin up next, Final for Anatomy n Histology!
on the other hand: i'd watched almost 13 different movies in a row.... Fil, u MMg GILA (as usual ryna wud said dat to me) ehehhehe... cant resist it.... if there's any new movies, juz watched it....
besides doin sumthing else, i wud prefer enjoyin myself doin sumthg dat i like.... but, i knoe: studyin is d best.... hell yeah, i really hate dat wen i came to class i'd realized dat i studied d wrong part! hoih, dats bad... i studied d other chapter, i cud never ever imagine how does it feel... my hand was sooooo numb n cold... tryin sooo hard to memorize everythin dat i cud n in the end i got satisfactory for that.... thank god, no neeed to repeat the test or else i wud wastin my tyme repeatin d same chapter...
lets seeee, dis is d list of movies dat i'd watched:
1. bridget jones diary 1&2
2. moulin rounge
3. man on fire
4. armageddon
5. tokyo drift
6. sum cheerleader muvee wic i forgot d title
7. coyote ugly
8. family man
9.etc... etc... tooo much, i cant remember.....
and now: i love to watch musical n sad movies, i love james blunt songs, i tend to eat food dat im allergic toooo.... im cravin for tiramisu n chocolate mousse from secret recipe.... i hav to perform for malaysian nyte.... i havent google d choc chip muffin yet! i miss nasi goreng cheese at swensen...ouchhh, my hand is hurt;(

hoPeless

well......
dis whole week were kinda disaster for me because all of the things dat had happened to me....
i'm depressed... im useless
one of d most stupid thing dat i did: i went to d sportzal to play basketball but after i had run 3-5 rounds of the court, i stood and looked to all other players and i talked to myself that i shouldnt be here... im out of mood to play... i dun hav stamina to play.... i am WEAK lazybum...
even more worst, after i did d psychology test and d test had revealed everything... eVerything!
indeed, im speechless.... i knoe it cud be more disastrous... i tend to be irritated and simply fed up wif everyone... i almost let my anger and blame the others for d simple,small n not-dat-important stuff. wut is wrong wif me? pms.... long tyme had ended... psycopath... nope,dats not me.... i think i need help for dis! am i dat hopeless......
its shitty wen u didnt get wut u want and u did study d particular chapter but in the end u sucks at it and u didnt score it!
sum of my groupies notice dat i'd cursed more than i usually did... hell, yeah... d old me is back!
i do hav split personality... like dr.jekyll & mr.hyde.... gewd, nice Filzah no more! i hate dis.... wani asked me not to skip lectures... hopefully, i dont... i had planned my weeks... i hope it will go VERRy smoothly.... how i wish, i wont hear anything, anything dat will hurtin my ear to listen to... i hope dat d nice Filzah will be back... i hope dat i wont have nervous breakdown.... i hope dat i could stay up to study instead of sleepin all nyte ahead till d next morning... i hope dat no one is messin wif my life now... i hope dat i can perform d best durin malaysian nyte... i hope dat i didnt neglect everythin dat happened to my life.... how i wish i can do dat!

.... dearest s*****

wohoooo...
id received a message from my a fwen of mine...
it was unbeliveable...
owh... for dis sem its happen to me n other gurl...
so wut bout next seM????
ur new luvly roomie????
or she would be ur prey next month huh????
preferably...
i really wanted to slap ur face NOW....
wuts ur problem anyway??
i think u shud make an appointment wif Dr Panova togetha wif ur Bf(ur truly obedient slaves la kannn)
bet if u r readin dis...
big round of applause coz u r definitely heatin me on...
i wanted to explode by now...
like i care wut u say.....
dun u ever notice dat we can live here verrry peacefully without u....
we lead a harmonious life without u B****
by d way, im soooo happy coz u hate me
fyi, u r d first one to hate me but zillions of people livin in dis world love me...
muahahahaha....
dude, boastin bout how big n bagus ur family is not gewd coz u r not dat gewd...
stop spinning d yarn bout how bad people is in ur eyes....
use ur magical mirror (as if u bcan trust it) to reveal the REAL U....
u r messin wif d WRONG people!

HaPPy burFday To ME ;D

oihhhh... im getttin older!!!!

...d naked truth...

sumtymes... truth hurts. im writin dis basically without any purpose but id been thinking of these for a long tyme actually. yet, i dunno. im not gewd in words tho... it sucks when u wanted to tell sumone bout sumthing but they understand it in different way wic means dat d particular message dat u wanted to convey to others were misunderstood....

keepin d matters dat keep on botherin urself dat is related to other people to urself is also a big torture, i mean to myself. yet, to understand between each other is important other than the 'chemistry' of two person or more! tellin ur fwens bout hows ur feelin towards them is d best but think before u say sumthg to prevent heartfeelin, anger, revenge etc... try to 'let it go'....

gossipin especially for girls is like routine but dun get me wrong... yess i do, gossipin wif my fwens... yet, guys r d most unbeliveable gossipers in d world (my own point of view)...

its simple, wen u dun like it, juz say it... can we do dat???

probably, it depends... well, its as for me it depends on d situation n my psychology condition: as if bad mood, i would said everythin dat crossed my mind... later, i would regret it but sumtymes its a relief for myself coz id been keepin it for long tyme, waiting for d right tyme for d 'volcano' to erupt!

revenge? not dat bad... still, its gewd to show sum lesson aite?

does love ends????

togetha..... nice word aint it? i knoe, but for me... its different its kinda tough tho...
like one of my fwen whos had lots of experience togetha wif all different kinds of guys told me dat guys r all d same... yeah, im agree of it.. summore she admitted dat she's gettin bored to seee her bf every day so dats y there's this phrase: absence make d heart grow fonder.... jeezz, so other gal asked me wut were we talked about, i simply said dat u wont understand d stuff dat we discussed coz u really lurve ur boy... heheh, yes, she knows dat she wouldnt understand wut we meant.... trust, woah.... dis one is really tough one... me n my grupmate did discussed bout it... d guy asked me whether i trust d other gals n i said i dont trust them. we cant trust anyone yet it depends on certain things.... i knoe one of fwen's bf said im understanding yess im...
im enjoying my lifetyme as single... i dun want to hook up wif sumeone for d time being. i knoe the right time will cum..... but, i dun care wut others people said bout me...... juz enjoyed it..... to those who r still whining bout dis... juz stop n theres no time dat is valuable to think about it... appreciate everythin u hav.... those haertbreakers n d players, stop breakin other people hearts...
people, craaappping only. huahuahauha ;D dun bother.....

worrry

--- leavin..
yeah... leavin. basically, when people leave to go sumwhere else, i'll be fine wif dat. yet, it depends on d situation n d person himself. but, im worried bout abah n mama, since both of my sisters are leavin them for a while for their work.... yup, it'll happen to me... i knoe, its d job thinging.. still, i feeel soooo bad bout dat... tho, ryte now mmg ponnn im away from them to study... haish, i dunno.... An, d youngest one who left at home... preferably i dun want to be away from them again... well, i hav to study medicine here in RUssiA... im scared dis would be a big 'pang' from them coz 3 of us r not there... huhuhu, mama's worried face cross my mind... hopefully, my brother would be mooooooore helpful than ever!!!! An juz be goood... ;)
ma, i'll call home sooonn... as soon as i bought d phone card...
mmmuuaaaahhhxxxx....
misssin u guys lotzzz.....

#1: hey, fil! hows russia???
me: erm... yeah fine, tho sum sort of daily probs like d buses are full wif passengers n i cum late for class...
#2: how's livin wif d other students???
me: so n so lah.. since not everyone is nice n there's troublemaker livin up herre... all in all, not everythin went smooth like i always wanted ok!
#1 & #2: yeah, dats true...
uhuhuhuhuh, dats d story, nuthin is perfect n no one is perfect....
how i wish can be like Dr. Turk or Dr. JD in scrubs....
or Dr. House who looks like a psychotic man with his cane...
or Dr. Greys, sweet yet surgeon wif personal probs...
heh, yea la fill keep on dreamin...
i hate it wen im like dis!!!

yesss people, im happy but im not happy wif sum stufff dat happened to me herrrre...

get me out of dis messs!

losing rationality as a result of IMMaTurity

people listen up!!!
say, u r not happy to see dis people
since they r messin wif our lyfe herrre...
i felt like want to kick their buttt n hell yeahhh want them to get out totallly from our lyfe!
tired to hear all those TRUE STORY dat should be revealed earlier...
i mean betta stay away = 1 Terakilometer (TKm) from them,
i really wanted call them BITCHY BITCH but sum say juz wait n see...
haih, mind U its been long tyme i'd never cursing people disss bad...
stil how i wish U to read my post herre in my blogs n giv it up...
stop all those stuffs dat u'd plannned...
U make us suffer...
but, dont U notice dat u r sufferin toooo
juz wait n see, n Only GOD knows when n how...
when It is d PAYBACK tyme,
dun make ur PATHETIC face to us....
no FREE HAND will simply lend to U,
seeee im soooo sick offff u...
im waitin d ryte tyme to spill dis offf on U
U hav d tyme to regret...
rethink bout wut U had done...
dont u ever realized dat U r d most hateful person on earth...
be RATIONAL coz im sooo sick off IMMATURITY.
tho i wonder how u were brought up,
forgive me if i blame it on ur parents....
such spoilt brat,
dude, ask urself...
U r not d Superior One....
Open the HOly Quran n U'll see who IS the ONE n OnlY : THE ALMIGHTY.


p/s: other people, pray hard for them so that they will find the RIGHT PATH sooooon :)
GOD, plzz forgive us for every sinful things dat we'd done n Help us so dat we can lead a peaceful life here in dis world before we r taken back to the eternal life........