Alhamdulillah, I’d passed my Operative surgery and ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) exam awaiting. Usually, I would indulge myself around with something else like doing nothing and sleeping but now, sticking my butt and studying for ENT topics.

I had been thinking a lot these days. Some maybe sound ridiculous but as days passed by it kept haunting me. Am I what I am??? It feels like I had changed a lot. The relatives keep on saying that I am different in all aspects. Hell yeah, I am older and wiser. But, as a kid I used to be the most talkative, mischievous, full with imaginary ideas that you could ever imagine.
Yes, I talk less to them because I do not know what to say to them. Darn, it is really hard for me to find a topic that will carry on all along for conversation.

As if with my old friends: Oi, Fil you look different now! Of course I know about it. It feels like I am losing something and that thing is outreached. I tend to stop myself to do something that I like. Yet, I do not know why.

These days, I cannot express myself and I keep my feeling inside me without knowing I am mad or like to something that I should.

Apathetic, the correct word I guess. Surprisingly, I am always searching for the undefined. People behavior reluctantly amused me.